🔵🔴Manchester Derby Day!

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It’s Manchester Derby (pronounced DAR-bee) Day!

Wait — Pronounced “Dar-bee”? Not “Derby” you might ask?
This is definitely the most pretentious thing about The Prem Report.
It’s kind of like when your friend came back from a week in France and started asking for fro-magge on their burger and a kwa-sont with their coffee. 🙄🙄

Well, this is our thing now. It’s spelled "derby," but in the Prem’s homeland, it’s pronounced “darby” — rhymes with Barbie, not Herbie.

So next time you see the word, give it your best Pirate Arrgghh effort. And if you hate it… well then, pardonne-moi.
-Gabe

⚔️ The Manchester Derby

🔵 Manchester City vs. 🔴 Manchester United

  • The Stakes:

    United are trying to prove they can still hang with the big boys — and complete their first league double over City since 2019.

  • MIA: City’s resident viking, Erling Haaland’s, out with a foot injury. United are missing half their backline (Martínez, Evans, Heaven).

  • The Form: Should be an “interesting match” to say the least, as both teams have been highly unpredictable lately.

📊Stat to Watch: The teams have scored a combined total of 33 goals their last 10 meetings. So we can expect at least 3.3 goals today or your money back.

🔑Key Players:

  • Bruno Fernandes 

    United’s number one player has a real opportunity to bring some balance and maturity to a squad in need of leadership. This game could set the tone for the rest of the season.

    Buuuuttt it also feels like the kind of day Bruno might hit a worldie and then get sent off for something absolutely unnecessary.

  • Jack Grealish

     You might be surprised to see me peg Greasy Grealish as a key player, but after ending his scoring drought against Leicester, he might just be turning the corner.

    Besides, who wouldn’t want to see vintage Jack again?

Will be an exciting match no matter what, hopefully we’ll see a vintage Harry Maguire moment.

⚽️ Elsewhere in the League

 🛖Fulham vs.🐦 Liverpool

  • Liverpool Watch: 
    Eleven points clear at the top. They are all but guaranteed to win the league. (unless Gerrard slips at the back)

  • Counter Offensive:
    Liverpool lead the league with 13 goals off of counterattacks. Look for more of the same today with 🔥Salah🔥 connecting with Jota and Diaz. Things could get out of hand.

  • Fulham’s Challenge:
    They’ve been decent at home, but Liverpool’s front line is humming. Fulhams defense will have their hands full but will look to counter with their precise passing backline.

🐝 Brentford vs. 🦁Chelsea

  • West London Derby (small d): 

    Chelsea won the reverse 2–1, but Brentford have a knack for spoiling things at home.

  • Missing Pieces: 

    Fofana and Lavia remain out for the Blues, but 🧊Palmer🧊 is expected to start. Huge.

  • What’s at Stake: 

    Chelsea are clinging to 4th and looking to lock in European football — maybe even push for third. Brentford are trying to avoid a forgettable finish.

🐓 Spurs vs. ⚰️ Southampton

  • Tottenham Needs This: After getting beaten by Chelsea midweek, Spurs need to bounce back fast. They’ve hit their wit’s end, and Daniel Levy has no hair left to pull out. Sitting in 16th? 😬😬

  • Southampton’s Record: Every point counts as they try and avoid being the worst ever Premier League team. Last weeks draw puts them at just 10 points, one below Derby County’s infamous 11. With 8 games left, they need at least two more points to dodge the record. Break out the popcorn.

  • Look Out For: Son Heung-Min to cook. The Saints’ backline may not survive.

🔦Salah Spotlight🔦

⚔️Are you not entertained?

We’re witnessing one of the greatest individual seasons in Premier League history — courtesy of Mohamed Salah.

In his seven seasons at Liverpool, he’s racked up 8 team trophies and 7 individual awards. From a Premier League title (soon to be two) to a Champions League crown, Salah has done it all. When it’s all said and done, he’ll go down as one of the best to ever play in the league. (see list of trophies here)

🏆On Pace to Break:
🥅Single Season Goal Contribution
Salah is one goal contribution (goals + assists) away from breaking the single-season record of 44, currently shared by Thierry Henry and Erling Haaland.
In 2017/18, he tallied 42, which ranks 4th all-time in a 38-game season.

⚽Single-Season Assists
He’s also just 4 assists away from setting a new Premier League record. The current high is 20, shared by Henry and KDB.

With 8 games to go, Salah has more than enough time to not only break both records — but pad them.

Liverpool fan or not, this is greatness in real time.

📊 Salah Stat Tracker: The Road to History

Record Type

Current Total

Record to Beat

Tracker

🥅 Goal Contributions (G+A)

44

44 (Henry, Haaland)

Tied!

⚽ Assists

16

20 (Henry, KDB)

🔄 4 to go

🗓️ 8 games remaining
👀 Can he break both before May? We’ll be tracking it here each week.