"Are you not entertained!!??" 
 — (Quote from English teams still in Europe)

After watching that absolutely insane PSG vs Bayern match in Paris midweek, I think we can all agree English teams aren't playing the most attractive football in the world right now… but with a very real chance of three English clubs making three European finals, it's safe to say they are the most consistent. The first legs of the European semifinals were an absolute treat for the English contingent: Arsenal drew with Atlético in the Champions League, Forest beat Villa to take control of their Europa League semi, and Crystal Palace hold a commanding 3-1 advantage over Shakhtar in the Conference League. There's still plenty of work to be done, but England is making a statement across all three competitions and I am HERE FOR IT.

Now on to the league…💪

-Gabe

In this edition

• Fixtures

• Extra Slice

Matchweek 35 Fixtures

Friday, May 1

🦉 Leeds vs 🟣 Burnley — 12:00 PM — Peacock

Saturday, May 2

🐝 Brentford vs ⚒️ West Ham — 7:00 AM — Peacock

⚫️ Newcastle vs 🐧 Brighton — 7:00 AM — Peacock

🐺 Wolves vs 🐈‍⬛ Sunderland — 7:00 AM — Peacock

🔫 Arsenal vs 🏠 Fulham — 9:30 AM — NBC
Arsenal is really in the thick of it. On Wednesday they drew 1-1 at Atlético Madrid in the Champions League, setting them up to potentially make the final for the first time since 2006, and now they play cross town rivals to put the pressure back on Man City. City have a game in hand but Pep's side don't play again until Monday at Everton. So a win on Saturday and the gap is six technically and the ball will be in Peps court.

Arsenal haven't lost a home league game against Fulham in 32 attempts (the longest such unbeaten run against a single opponent in English Football League history) and the Cottagers have never won a Premier League away game against the league leaders in 13 tries. (but what a time for them to break that) They've also failed to score in four of their last six league games, which is not exactly the form you want heading into the Emirates. That said, Harry Wilson has been quietly excellent this season with 10 goals and 6 assists, and Fulham are only two points behind Brighton in the European race so they'll be desperate for something...anything

Sunday, May 3

🍒 Bournemouth vs 🦅 Crystal Palace — 6:00 AM — USA

🟥 Manchester United vs 🔴 Liverpool — 7:30 AM — NBC
Old Trafford plays host to one of the biggest fixtures on the English football calendar this Sunday, and for what seems like the first time in a dogs age, Manchester United actually are the slight favorites.

Carrick's side need just two more points from their final four games to lock up Champions League football, and a win here would complete their first league double over Liverpool since 2016 (they beat the Reds 1-0 at Anfield back in October). The good vibes are absolutely bussing around the club right now: Kobbie Mainoo signed a new contract until 2031 this week, and Matheus Cunha has returned to training after missing Monday's win over Brentford with a hip flexor issue. Eight league goals, four goal contributions in his last six appearances, and the match-winner against Chelsea at the Bridge. United really, really want him fit for this one.

Liverpool arrive at Old Trafford in a strange place. Champions League football is essentially secured, Salah is heading for the exit in the summer, and the season has quietly unraveled after so much early promise; knocked out of Europe by PSG, form inconsistent, a long injury list, and Slot's job security rumblings growing louder, It’s up to the remaining players to establish some form of passion and drive on the pitch and remind everyone they are reigning champs.

⭕ Aston Villa vs 🐓 Tottenham — 11:00 AM — USA
Aston Villa host Tottenham on Sunday in a game that means very different things to the two sides. Villa sit fifth and very much in the hunt for European football — but here's the fun wrinkle — they're actually 12th in the league for expected goals and are overperforming their expected points by nearly 15. In other words, Unai Emery has been pulling rabbits out of hats all season. The timing isn't ideal either, with a Europa League semi-final on either side of this fixture, meaning Emery will have one eye on the European picture while trying not to slip up domestically.

And then there's Tottenham. Where do you even begin. They sit 18th, two points from safety, with four games left and a 59% chance of relegation (according to that old Opta supercomputer). BUTTT the good news is they FINALLY WON A GAME!!! 🎊 Yes it was against already-relegated Wolves, which is like winning a race against a runner who just had his girlfriend break up with him. Now De Zerbi needs this squad to somehow find back-to-back wins, and do it away at Villa Park against a side that has drawn zero of their last 25 meetings with Spurs. Should be a cracker.

Monday, May 4

🦁 Chelsea vs 🌲 Nottingham Forest — 7:00 AM — USA

🟦 Everton vs 🌙 Manchester City — 12:00 PM — Peacock

^{Times are in Pacific Standard Time and channels are based in the U.S.}

Extra Slice

Me after watching the PSG v Bayern match:

If you missed the Champions League semi-final first leg PSG vs Bayern Munich on Tuesday night, close this newsletter, go find a replay, and come back. We'll wait. (You can also watch the highlights here)

The final score was 5-4 to PSG … and even that doesn't quite capture how absolutely unhinged the whole thing was. It was 3-2 at half time. Both managers essentially told their teams to just go full Leeroy Jenkins it, and what unfolded was arguably the best Champions League match of the decade…possibly the best game many people watching have ever seen. PSG manager Luis Enrique summed it up perfectly after the final whistle: "We deserved to win. But we also deserved a draw. And we would have even deserved to lose, because this game was that incredible." Completely illogical. Completely accurate.

What made it special wasn't just the goals but how both teams played. This was end-to-end, high-tempo, technically brilliant football where positions essentially stopped existing. PSG's right-back Achraf Hakimi was sprinting 50 yards to press Bayern's left-back. Harry Kane (arguably the best striker in Europe this season) then was dropping to the edge of his own box to combine with his center-backs. Defenders were acting like midfielders, midfielders were acting like forwards, and somehow it all worked. The match only produced 4.4 expected goals total, which tells you the finishing was exceptional and the goalkeepers weren't actually making that many saves, the scoreline was, statistically speaking, a bit of a freak event. Nine goals, two penalties, and barely a mistake between them.

The second leg is in Munich next Wednesday, and Dembélé has already promised more of the same: "We're going to attack, and Bayern are going to attack." If you thought the first leg was something, buckle up. Some games are events. This one was a reminder of why football is the best sport in the world.