Matchweek 9 is here, and so is episode one of the Erling Haaland show on Youtube. If you ever wanted to see how much raw milk a 6’5” viking can drink, you’re in luck.

-Gabe

In this edition

• Fixtures

• 3 Things to Watch

• Extra Slice

Matchweek 9 Fixtures

Friday, October 24

🦉 Leeds United vs ⚒ West Ham United – 12:00 PM – USA Network

Saturday, October 25

🦁 Chelsea vs 🐈‍⬛ Sunderland – 7:00 AM – Peacock

⚫ Newcastle vs 🏠 Fulham – 7:00 AM – USA

🔴 Manchester United vs 🐧 Brighton – 9:30 AM – NBC
Harry “Clutch” Maguire or Mr. United as he’s known around my condo, once again has shown his quality. Man U’s big win against Liverpool last week may be just what Reuben Amorin needed to keep his job and jumpstart what’s been a less than stellar time at the helm.

Brighton hasn’t lost in their last five in all comps and is looking to add another big name to their toppled giants list. So far this season they’ve beaten Chelsea, Newcastle, and Manchester City — not bad Brighton.

🐝 Brentford vs 🔴 Liverpool – 12:30 PM – USA
To quote Michael Scott…”Oh how the turntables”…Liverpool has lost their last three Premier League matches. For reference, they lost four games in all of last season. Arne Slot Benched Salah for their midweek CL game which they won 5-1 and will no doubt be playing with a chip on his shoulder.

Sunday, October 26

🍒 Bournemouth vs 🌲 Forest – 7:00 AM – Peacock

🦈 Arsenal vs 🦅 Crystal Palace – 7:00 AM – Peacock
Palace is coming of a 3-3 tie in what was arguably the best match of the season so far against Bournemouth. They take on league leaders Arsenal in what will be a can’t miss London derby. Arsenal is allowing a measly .38 goals per game and is on track to beat Chelsea’s least goals allowed record (15). With Palace sitting #1 this season for shots on target AND big chances created, I think we are going to see some action.

🦉 Aston Villa vs 🌙 Manchester City – 7:00 AM – USA

🐺 Wolves vs 🍷 Burnley – 7:00 AM – Peacock

🐓 Hotspur vs 🔵 Everton – 9:30 AM – USA

^{Times are in Pacific Standard Time and channels are in}

Three Things to Watch

1. 📺Raw milk and red light therapy; The Erling Haaland Youtube channel. 

2. 📺🚿How often Premier League managers shower?

3. 💸 777 Partners, a little background on the fraudulent football ownership group.

Extra Slice

It took only 39 days for Nottingham Forest to cut ties with Ange Postecoglou, making him the second-shortest-tenured coach in Premier League history. The tears will be as brief as his time in charge, with Forest already on to their third manager of the season.

Enter Sean Dyche (pronounced Die-ch)—the tough, gravel-voiced former Forest youth player now taking on his fourth managerial job. The new boss already lives within walking distance of the City Ground and feels like a natural fit. Dyche is known for “righting the ship” through hard work, simplicity, and ruthless efficiency.

Famous for his love of the classic 4-4-2 and his teams’ freakish set-piece success rate, Dyche favors direct play over endless sideways passing (join the club). He’s also obsessed with effort, filling practices with running running and more running.

His last act at Everton saw him keep the club afloat despite a 10-point deduction a miracle in Merseyside. Now, Dyche’s back home in Nottingham, hoping to douse the flames before this Forest fire burns out of control,